Damn you, Science. Damn you straight to hell!

As those of you who had to listen to me crying at my desk every day for six months know, 2013 was not a banner year for me, mental health-wise. So in 2014 I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication -- or as Siri just transcribed it, "anti-exciting medication," which is appropriate since it made me less excitable (volatile).

It was life-changing. I could function again, I could think rationally (and empathetically) again, I was happy.

The only downside is that I gained 30 pounds in nine months. Having been both skinny/sad and fat/happy, I can say definitively that I would rather be fat/happy. (Also, one of the anxieties that anti-anxiety medication alleviates, I've discovered, is anxiety about being fat.) But when the psych suggested that I might not be anxious, just crazy, she switched me to a different medication that did not have the weight-gain side effect.

The jury's still out on how well this new drug is working (I might be both anxious AND crazy, after all) but since my closet is hurting and my clothes budget is stagnant at $0, I figured I would take this as an opportunity.

After quite a bit of research, I'm ready to reveal the ultimate weight loss secret: eat less. And move more. But mostly just eat less.

Eat complex carbs or eat fats. Eat early or late. Eat often or at mealtimes. Consume caffeine or avoid it. It doesn't matter. All that matters is eating less.

Well, that's not helpful.

Damn you, Science. Damn you straight to hell!

Although actually, I did learn one helpful thing: the symptoms of hunger and dyspepsia are nearly identical -- which explains to me the great mystery of how I could be hungry so soon after eating -- and both are mitigated by eating, but only hunger is solved by eating.

So if a Tums doesn't help me, I eat. If it does, I go back to reading about the Enzi-Price budget resolutions. (PS - They're just the Ryan budgets redux. It's pretty easy reading.)

Comments

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A Mile Wide, An Inch Deep

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